If you're anything like me, then you've optimized your life for achievement. Perhaps, to a fault. You've found yourself succeeding by most standard metrics -- you have a solid career, a stable income and many plants that love you. Dope.
Except, you can't deny that feeling. Sure -- you excel at Excel. You have skills like SQL. But, you wonder if you're actually growing towards something that excites you? You're moving, but you have no target. You're following life more than you're leading it.
It's both surprising and sad how pervasive this feeling is -- even for those in some of the most privileged living conditions. But, it is not insurmountable. It merely requires some re-framing and some initiative.
Firstly, we need to take a close look at our ambition. Ironically, the things I was ambitious for weren't actually the things I wanted. And why's that? I found my ambition only lived in circumscribed realms -- realms that I knew I could achieve in. It latched on to guarantees. The realms that I actually wanted to achieve in -- things like blogging and videography -- were scary, foreign and competitive landscapes. And so, I took the route of more certain achievement, but also the route of fear. I ditched the growth I wanted for the achievement I knew I could get.
Don't do that.
So, how do we embrace self growth holistically? How do we adopt this as a core principle for our life?
One of my YouTube heroes, Casey Neistat, actually has a great video that speaks to this topic. In short, don't solely do what you you've been doing, just because you already know you can do. Don't stick to what you do because you're afraid of what you can't do. And definitely don't stick to what you do because of what other people say you can't do.
Instead, do what you can't.
Or, as he puts it: don't be one of those people sipping champagne at the top of the Titanic while heading full-steam ahead into the iceberg of your impending quarter-life or midlife crisis.
I believe that focusing on growth in what you "can't" do will lead to achievement -- with the disclaimer that I have not yet proven this in my life. But, I'm choosing to believe this. There's also the added benefit that the process itself is satisfying regardless of the outcome. Through writing a book, and creating Snackable Growth -- I feel an immense sense of pride just knowing that I'm pushing in the right direction for things that I genuinely want.
More importantly, I'm pushing in that direction every day. Not just when it's convenient.
I choose to believe that I can craft my main quest. It may take 5 years. Hell -- it may take 10 years. But, I can honestly say that whether I achieve or not, I'll believe this is all still worth it. Growth in a focused direction is, in and of itself, deeply satisfying.
Being a bit delusional
In this weeks video, I talk about having a delusional streak to help get over your self doubt. This may rub some of you the wrong way, but allow me to clarify. Being delusional isn't about lighting scented candles in the hopes that you just stumble on a more fulfilling life. Instead, it's about choosing to be delusional about what's "realistic" for you to achieve, as a mechanism to launch your action fearlessly. It's a roundabout way of believing in your capabilities to your core. For many, believing in themselves so intimately will feel wildly delusional, and that's okay. Insecurity isn't easy to purge. So, embrace the delusional feeling enough to get you to do the things that you secretly want to do.
Side Quests
Side quests are more than just a side hustle. The hustle is short term. In some cases, it's to pick up a little extra money, or to add a little extra leisure to your day. But "quests" are different. They're epic, mission-driven initiatives. It's the long game -- and that's what we all need to find for ourselves.
After making this video, I realized that there's another important callout. It's not enough for us to have side quests. We need to go one step further. We need to stop thinking about them as our side quest, and instead think about them as our main quest. We need to treat them like a priority in our life. Your side quest will never become your main quest if you don't treat it with at least equal priority to your main quest. That means -- again -- doing it every day.
Right now, my side quests are writing a book and building Snackable Growth. I have big and terrifying dreams for what these things could look like or could become -- things I may even feel that I'm not capable of achieving.
But, in the meantime, I've decided to choose to be a bit delusional.
I'll just do what I can't. And you should too.
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